Midweek Mood Share

Well hello dah-lings! Shall I say Happy Hump Day? ๐Ÿ˜† Autumn, and the “fall back” time change is upon us. Shorter days, cooler temperatures, leaves on the ground crunching under our feet, birds feasting on berries. Except for the shorter days part I usually enjoy this seasonal transition. Not so much this time around, as memories have come back to taunt me. Me and the man I loved would have been together over a year this month, that is if he hadn’t completely given up on us. Plans went unfulfilled, promises were not kept, and communication broke down. Even though we split up almost six months ago, a fresh wave of sadness and loneliness has come over me lately, and a surge of vivid reminiscences and special moments from the past have invaded my thoughts. And with those thoughts comes heartache. Just when it seemed like I had finally broken through to the healthy, confident “I’m over it” stage. Guess I’m not fully over it after all. Feelings of hurt and abandonment are hard to shake. Well, for me they are ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

But sources of precious salvation are available to me, thank God. They are alive and well in the old reliables in my life; the people who love and care about me, and art. Modeling has been going great, which is awesome. And Mom and I are taking a little mother-daughter drive down to Brandywine, Pennsylvania on Friday. Both of us have wanted to visit the museum and take a tour of Andrew Wyeth’s studio. We finally found an opening in our schedules to go. After a hectic couple of months of working it will feel so nice to get out the city, if only for a brief time. I’m bringing my camera and will hopefully take some good pictures.

Before I leave you all, here’s a great example of the lifeline that art modeling provides during these periods when I hit roadblocks. A painting of me by the fabulous Mark Tennant. His other works of me appeared in this Museworthy post from February. I love this. Thank you, Mark ๐Ÿ™‚

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Be well, friends. I’ll see you when I get back from Brandywine. Hopefully I will have shaken off this moody muck by then.

24 thoughts on “Midweek Mood Share

  1. Peter Howard says:

    Really sorry for your sadness. The Autumn, or fall, is guaranteed to make us all a little melancholy even if everything is ok. Anyway England sends all its love to you and who knows, come Spring new things may start to grow. Best wishes Pete x x

    Date: Wed, 6 Nov 2013 22:23:41 +0000 To: petelatics@hotmail.com

    • artmodel says:

      Peter,

      Thank you so much. It’s true that autumn tends to trigger a bit of melancholy, even though it really is a lovely time of year in so many ways. I appreciate your kindness ๐Ÿ™‚

      Claudia

  2. Grier Horner says:

    A broken heart can take a long time to heal. It shows, I think, that you loved deeply. The Mark Tennant painting of you glows.

    • artmodel says:

      Grier,

      Yes, Mark does wonderful work. He’s a great guy too.

      A broken heart really does take time to heal, like you said. It hurts even more that he chose another woman over me and didn’t value my love for him. It was easy for him to walk away. I’m still stunned by it all.

      Thanks so much for your comforting comments.

      Claudia

  3. T.O. Fife says:

    Well, maybe some good vibes will head your way just knowing that there are a good many people across the country right now trying to capture some of your inner beauty, as well as your physical beauty. In fact, I’m gonna get back to my drawing for the Museworthy Art Show right now.

    • artmodel says:

      Todd,

      Thank you so much! I’ll take all the good vibes I can get. The art show submissions make me smile. And I look forward to yours especially, as this year’s theme was your splendid idea ๐Ÿ™‚

      Claudia

      • T.O. Fife says:

        Claudia,
        “I look forward to yours especially . . .” Well, I do hope you’ll find just a bit of worth in my submission. But, I also just wanted to say, when I first suggested that we submit a work based on a figure study of you I was just hoping it would help kick-start me into creating art again. Claudia, know that it has . . . this is the first time I have drawn in a good while. And hopefully, this desire to create will continue. Many thanks . . .

        • artmodel says:

          Todd,

          I am delighted that you’ve been “kick-started”! That makes me happy. You also kick-started me in holding another art show, so we both get a nice jolt of stimulus here. Excellent:-)

          Thanks for your comments!

          Claudia

  4. Dan Hawkins says:

    Hang in there Claudia. It’ll get better.

    Today is an anniversary for me. It was 29 years ago today (it’s still Nov. 6th as I type this) that I modeled for my first figure drawing class. I celebrated by modeling for an anatomy class at the Texas Academy of Figurative Art.

    I’m also working on a novel about two art models for National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to get 50,000 words of it written during November. I’ve written 12,000 through the first six days, so I’m on a pace to write more than that. If the thing is every published, I’ll have to send you a copy.

    • Bill says:

      Hi Dan, I did that one year, too — it was a lot of fun. My protagonist was also an art model — I wonder if there is some kind of undiscovered trove of art model novels out there somewhere ๐Ÿ™‚ Good luck on the project!

    • artmodel says:

      Dan,

      Wow, your 29th anniversary of art modeling is impressive indeed! Congratulations, friend. That is some amazing longevity. You’ve stuck with it because you love it, like I do ๐Ÿ™‚

      The novel project sounds great! Yes, please send when you finish. Writing is a challenge, always, but so very gratifying when we find the expression flowing clearly and creatively.

      Thanks for your comments!

      Claudia

  5. artmodelandrew says:

    Enjoy your visit to Brandywine. I’ve never been there, but I did visit the Farnsworth Museum in Rockland, Maine many moons ago.
    http://www.farnsworthmuseum.org/

    • artmodel says:

      Andrew,

      Farnsworth should definitely be my next museum stop and a nice compliment to Brandywine. And I haven’t been to Maine in many, many years so I’m due for a visit. Thanks for the link!

      Claudia

  6. Bill says:

    Really good painting — thank you (and Mark) for posting it.

    I think that you were getting back together just about this time last year? So it would be an anniversary of sorts — I’m thinking that you should feel better after you get past that.

    Enjoy the museum.

    • artmodel says:

      Bill,

      I think you are spot on in your theory. It was indeed this time last year that our very special rekindling was taking place. My heart and mind are reminding me of it, and it’s almost a cruel torment! I hope you’re right that it will pass when these couple of months also pass.

      Thanks for your comments!

      Claudia

  7. Jennifer says:

    Recovering from heartbreak is such a long haul, one that you inevitably have to undertake alone, but hopefully the support from your family, friends and Museworthy readers will all help you along. I hope you had a lovely time with your mother and that the break away helped a bit. xx

  8. Derek says:

    I hope you are doing OK and I am sincerely sympathize with your situation, especially as a parent of three grown children who went through bad situations in relationships or at work. I also went through a divorced from my wife of 40 years, in 2008. But we keep in touch with sharing our children and grandchildren.

    At least you have a great mum who has been at your side and you have a great bond with her. You are her greatest accomplishment along with your brother. She has two talented people she has accomplished other than her art. I hope you have a great weekend

    Derek James Tewey
    Brisbane, Australia

    • artmodel says:

      Derek,

      I am so lucky to have, like you said, a great mum and awesome brother. You certainly understand the value of family relationships, the close bonds, and all the trials we go through together.

      Thanks for your comments!

      Claudia

  9. Hi Claudia,
    I too am a life-model and writer with a blog, and am very struck by how openly you have written about your personal life, in this post and others too. I find it good – you receive sympathetic and supportive responses, and benefit from ‘virtual’ friendships offered. I am more guarded than you. I am a writer and poet who has ended up life-modelling to make ends meet. Apart from book sales (not great sums!) it is my only income source. The modeling has, over the last four years, very much become the food of my own creative life – as it clearly is for you too. However, the blog I created from 2011 as a new outlet for my writing exists in the name of a created persona, Suki the life model (if you google it – plus UK – you’ll get there). Suki lays herself bare both physically (!) and also emotionally. I have used her as a vehicle for discussing every issue that has ever come up in my experience as a model, but I have only felt free to do that – no holds barred – by making her a separate entity. Suki now has a second website linked to her first one, where she is serialising her life story, illustrated each week with a drawing or sketch from one of the life rooms in which she works. Again, this gets very intimate and close-to-the-bone in a way that I personally would never do.
    Whereas you are being ‘real’.
    I wonder which is the most engaging blog – one by a ‘real’ life model or a fictional one?
    Me, I would go for the former! (-:
    I am pleased to have discovered your blog (a photographer I work with here in northern England just emailed me your link – “hey, have you seen this?” See Bel’s own blog at http://www.bel-photography.blogspot.co.uk) – I love the artwork you choose to put up. Best wishes,
    Sue Vickerman
    And hope your mood has lifted…

    • artmodel says:

      Sue,

      I’m so glad you posted a comment here, thank you! This is great ๐Ÿ™‚
      I seem to get credit – too much I think – for “baring my soul” on this blog, but I actually do keep A LOT to myself, believe it or not! I don’t deny that I am generally an open person my nature, however I do appreciate the need for boundaries, both online and in real life. When I do share personal feelings, it’s true that I pretty much tell it like it is. But I decided a while back that a blog which focuses constantly on confessional/personal posts will lose the interest of readers and becomes a purely self-indulgent exercise.

      I think your blogging is wonderful. Communicating in the “separate entity” form is genius! Nobody should force themselves out of their comfort zone if they find it unnerving. Telling the stories, sharing the experiences, etc is all that really matters. You said you are “guarded”, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

      The more that art models blog the better. That’s my feeling. We are a unique “club” so to speak, and our passion for our work is difficult to describe sometimes. So we keep trying. We keep writing and sharing and posting artwork ๐Ÿ™‚

      Again, thank you for your thoughtful and lovely comments! It’s great to read your voice here on Museworthy!

      Claudia

      • I SO LOVE THIS BLOG Claudia! It’s ‘yours’ but it’s also very much for all of us, and it’s the first time I have felt that I belong to a specific professional group. Committed, conscientious and idealistic ‘muses’ R us!

        I guess everyone is self-employed like me, even though I get payrolled at a couple of colleges ( – but with no more than 4 hours week in any particular institution one doesn’t have the status of ’employee’). Discovering this blog this week has been timely: I’m in bed at my parents’ home recovering from a minor op and so have some time, for once. The trouble is, I have had to cancel loads of bookings…

        I have a lovely life: ‘writer, poet, life-model’ is who I am on my tax return – but I live on the breadline and, as I’m sure is the case for most of us, I CANNOT BE ILL.

        So this afternoon I have to get out of bed and return to work. Still unable to cycle, my friend will deliver me to the school. I cannot sit down, because of where my operation was. I will request lying down poses, or brief (otherwise I might fall over) standing poses. I will be picked up at the end and brought back to my sick bed. SImilarly I will fulfil one of my bookings tomorrow, and the next day, also Friday, trying to stay in bed inbetween them, then I have a full whammy six-hour pose on Saturday. Whether I’m better or not.

        The down-side of an otherwise stimulating and in so many ways wonderful occupation.

        • Dan Hawkins says:

          Sue:

          I love your comment and your dedication to modeling. This past spring, I went to one session with a fever of 101.3 Fahrenheit. The class was doing a multi-session pose that wound up lasting seven weeks, 14 three-hour sessions in all. If I had cancelled that day due to illness, what would they have done? So I went, kept to myself and didn’t talk to anyone (because I didn’t want to give what I had to someone else) and did my pose. The instructor knew how sick I felt and gave me extra breaks that day.

          Of course, the resulting drawings from that long pose were amazing. I blogged about one of them here: http://artmodellog.blogspot.com/2013/09/things-that-make-me-say-wow.html

          So I wish you well during your posing this week. Modeling is difficult enough work when we’re feeling well; it’s just that much more difficult when we are not. But then, if it were easy, everyone would do it…

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