Summertime Blues

What is that phrase used in football when the quarterback changes the plays at the last minute? “Calling an audible”? Well I’ve just done that with this blog post. I had written four long sad-sack paragraphs about why I’m unable to take a vacation this year and my painful breakup with the boyfriend, the event which precipitated this lousy, depression-filled summer. Then I read some truly horrible news stories about senseless crimes, tragic accidents, and children with cancer. When I returned to Museworthy to publish the post, suddenly my “woe is me” whimperings seemed really petty and self-absorbed in contrast. So I highlighted the whole damn text and hit “delete”. Good riddance.

But I am genuinely happy for my family, all of whom will be taking fantastic vacations; my mother to France in early September for painting in Provence and Paris, and my brother, sister-in-law, and niece to the Grand Canyon, which will be Olivia’s first time there. We all agreed to take separate vacations this year, that was the plan set in motion back in the spring. Since then, everything has changed for me and my summer plans with the boyfriend – now ex-boyfriend – of course won’t be happening. So I’m feeling kind of stranded, lonely, and swindled. That my birthday came and went without so much as a call, text, or email from him only compounded my sadness 😥

Hey, I said I wasn’t going to do this. Stop it Claudia! How about two pictures to wrap up this post? I was fortunate enough to spend a brief 24 hours in the Catskills where I photographed some of the vegetation by the lake in South Fallsburg. I was hoping to see seals, whales, and the ocean this summer. I’ll have to settle for cattails and purple thistles instead.

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Four more weeks until art modeling resumes. It can’t get here soon enough. I’ll be counting the days .  . . .

17 thoughts on “Summertime Blues

  1. Giving you a whistle/for that beautiful purple thistle
    And as for cattails/I can tell some cat tales

    You’re beautiful and so’s life. As a very wise woman once told me, “I never run after a bus or a man. There will be another along any minute”.

  2. Dave Rudin says:

    “I was complaining that I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet”

  3. Dave says:

    September will be here in no time, and you (and I) will be back on the platform. And this disappointing summer will be just a dim memory. Except for the cat tails–those are worth remembering.

    Your post reminded me of Eric Rohmer’s 1986 film, Summer. Have you seen it?

    Dave

    • artmodel says:

      Dave,

      No, I haven’t seen that film. Maybe I should check it out given how much free time I have these days! I really appreciate your comforting words. And I agree with you about the cattails. They’re cool 🙂

      Thanks!

      Claudia

  4. Jennifer says:

    Having guessed this is what had happened, I’ve felt you’ve been very brave and dignified in your recent blogs. Not being with your family this summer is only serving to highlight your disappointment and hurt, especially as the modelling schedule is also very quiet during the summer. You deserve better and I hope that ‘better’ is just around the corner. Big hugs, Jennifer

    • artmodel says:

      Jennifer,

      I was hoping you would comment on this post, as your voice is always so warm and comforting. Thank you! I hope you’re right about better being just around the corner.

      Hugs back 🙂

      Claudia

      • Jennifer says:

        Hope the supportive replies on the blog have been some comfort, though a painful break-up is inevitably something you have to suffer through alone. We would all have wished much better and much happier for you!

        • artmodel says:

          Jennifer,

          You are so kind, thank you 🙂 Yes, the supportive comments here mean a lot to me. The situation was indeed very messy and emotionally painful. It still hurts me a great deal. I know you especially were very happy for me when things were going well. I feel just awful about the whole thing. But he chose fear over faith, and as hard as I tried to convince him otherwise he was inflexible and hostile.

          Thanks again, Jennifer.

          Claudia

  5. Bill says:

    You need an adventure. For example, about $30 would buy you a roundtrip bus ticket to see:
    http://www.icaboston.org/red_bull_cliff_diving/

    Or, alternatively, you could enter the competition and compete for the prize money — that would be even more adventurous. And, since it is held at the Institute of Contemporary Art, it would count as performance art!

    All kidding aside, I think that you should do something totally outlandish and fun.

    • artmodel says:

      Bill,

      Haha, I think I’ll leave the cliff diving to the thrill-seekers which is definitely not me! Although that surely would qualify as “performance art” these days. But I agree with you that an adventure of some sort would probably do me good.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Claudia

  6. danielh1966 says:

    I thought this summer’s general blahness was just me, caused by my new full-time job, but I can see that it’s an epidemic. When I do feel like railing against my job with the demanding hours and the micro-managing boss who follows up every single thing I do with a microscope, I have to remind myself that I’m lucky to have a steady income in this economy. Still, I can’t wait to get some modeling gigs. I’ve only had two since April (and this after doing nothing but modeling from January through mid-March, which, except for the low income, was heaven for me).

    Best wishes for a very productive fall semester for you…

    • artmodel says:

      Dan,

      I wish I had an explanation for why this summer has been absolutely awful on the modeling front. Like you said, the winter months were great, but then the spring slowdown seemed to forecast what seems like the quietest summer on record. Only a few more weeks until the fall semesters begin, thank god.

      Hang in there with your current job and the boss breathing down your neck. Just keep reminding yourself that modeling is on its way back 🙂

      Thanks for your comments!

      Claudia

  7. Steve Y says:

    Hey Claudia, feeling some of your pain here. My darling and I have parted company after six years; it was in the works for awhile, however a day doesn’t go by that I do not miss miss her. Never the less in God’s mercy we continue on. My prayers are with you. No va-ca this summer either; will wait until January to head to the Keys or the Caribbean. At the very least no one will have to hear me bitching on twitter about having to work outside for a while.
    Anyway enough said; meanwhile here’s to the fellowship of suffering, temporal though it is, thanks be to God…

    Blessings 🙂

    • artmodel says:

      Steve,

      I am so very sorry to hear that you and your lady have split. I remember we had talked about it briefly via Twitter a while back, but I wasn’t sure if you had reconciled since then. Again, I am so sorry. You’re in my prayers, friend.

      Breakups are hard. Mine is especially hard because this was our second time around and it really felt like we were gonna get it right this time. He and I have so much in common and overcame a lot of trauma from the past. To throw it all away is to squander a relationship with so much promise. But it was his choice, not mine. He won’t even stay friends with me 😥

      But yes, through the grace of God we carry on. Here’s to our “fellowship of suffering”. I say we raise a glass of chianti to numb the pain 😉

      Thanks for sharing your comments, Steve. Peace and blessings to you.

      Claudia

      • Steve Y says:

        Very well. May I suggest this Querciabella chianti that would go well with vegan & plant-based dishes. Blessings to you my friend 🙂

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