“Fat Ass Model”

I’ve decided that one of blogging’s many demented pleasures is checking out the search terms in your Dashboard. Just to clarify for the non-bloggers – we (the bloggers) are provided with a daily list of the search engine terms that brought visitors to our blog. Some days it’s predictable and mildly interesting. Other days it’s a disturbing and bizarre collection that reflects the twisted minds of misguided Internet freaks. This blog especially, with all its female “nudity” and “modeling”, attracts more than its share of perverts. Sure it’s amusing and I usually chuckle when I see them. But there have been a couple of times when I’ve read my search terms and actually felt my skin crawl. I don’t want those sickos coming here. Ew.

Here’s just a small sampling – a VERY small sampling – of some of the search terms I’ve seen in my Dashboard recently. I am copying these verbatim, word-for-word as they appear in my blog stats:

“nude little girl”

“naked tits with hard nipples”

“male art class model hung like a horse”

“fat ass model”

“balls and vagina in art”

“skinny model porn fake boobs”

“sex with art model”

“got a cock erection posing for ladies art class”

“naked whores painting”

“picasso foreskin”

“willing models for orgies”

“dead naked bimbo”

“old hag art model in drawing class”

“big dick drawing”

“nude female model masturbating”

And my absolute favorite: “slut claudia”

Yeaaaaaahhh! Love that last one! Sounds like an old boyfriend looking to reunite, don’t you think? 😆

By the way, is there really someone out there who is interested in Picasso’s foreskin? Like really? Like that’s a compelling topic??? Holy crap.

Anyway, I assume that when those anonymous searchers got to Museworthy they were sorely disappointed with this blog’s actual content, and that’s fine with me. We do ART here folks. Tasteful, artistic, meaningful and non-exploitative ART. Yes, a lot of it is nude and a lot of it is of me, but it ain’t Hustler. And to the good people who searched for “Modigliani and Jeanne Hebuterne”, “Caravaggio”, “Raphael drawings”, “Suzanne Valadon”, “Francoise Gilot”, “figure modeling”, “Matisse muses”, “Picasso La Vie” and “Audrey Munson sculpture”, I offer a sincere and heartfelt thank you. You came to the right place 🙂

Here is a very Museworthy image that represents the true spirit of this blog. Drawing by Daniel Maidman, created at Spring Studio, and the model is me, not a “fat ass model”:

43 thoughts on ““Fat Ass Model”

  1. Gary says:

    As a Catholic, albeiit probably a lapsed Catholic, I would have imagined Pablo Picasso would have carried his foreskin around with him all his life. What bizarre thoughts go through people’s minds.

    • artmodel says:

      Gary,

      Bizarre thoughts indeed. The behavior you described wouldn’t surprise me for Picasso!

      Thanks for commenting.

      Claudia

      • Gary says:

        Claudia, by Picasso carrying around his foreskin with him, I meant that it remained where it was when he was born. In Europe, the Middle East and, really every where but North America, only Jews and Muslims practice circumcise boys. During the civil war in Lebanon, Muslim and Christian militias had an easy way to determine whether a man was within their tribe or with the opposition. Sorry to deviate into a decidedly non-artsy subject. By the way, I love your blog.

        • artmodel says:

          Gary,

          Oh my god. I took your comment literally!! Like he actually “carried” it around! What the hell was I thinking??! Excuse me while I go slap myself silly 😳

          Apart from the Jewish tradition, I’ve always been unclear about which cultures/ethnicities have practiced circumcision historically. Don’t be sorry about discussing a non-art subject. I need the education, clearly!

          Thanks Gary for setting me straight!

          Claudia

  2. LK says:

    I think I found you under “gorgeous new yorker.”

    The list uhm, like yeah…”willing models for orgies”….this is some boy who thinks he’s going to have a party while his parents are gone…and of course the models just probably flooded out of the woodwork for him.

    The internet is a sea of dirt and filth though, no doubt, but at least is can also be the medium for meeting profoundly awesome people such as yourself.

    Hope all is well with you,
    *LK*

    • artmodel says:

      LK! So great to hear from you, especially when you flatter me with “gorgeous new yorker” 🙂 Although I do wish I saw more of that in my search terms.

      You’re totally right about the Internet and its users. For every miscreant, there’s an interesting, fascinating person out there, perhaps far away, who we would not have met if not for our cyber connection. That possibility is worth putting up with the “naked boobs” searchers.

      By the way, you’re pretty awesome too 🙂

      Thanks for commenting, friend.
      Claudia

  3. Thom says:

    Oh yeah, no kidding the scum is trolling about on the net. Because I shoot Fine Art nudes I get SOOOO much of the scum on my various websites where I post photos, as well as my personal website.

    It’s disgusting.

    The drawing of you however is fantastic!!

    • artmodel says:

      Thom,

      Yes, you fine art nude photographers must get it worse than anybody. Ugh, I can’t even imagine. Just try to ignore it I guess.

      Glad you like the drawing! Daniel is amazing.

      Thanks for your comments.

      Claudia

  4. Claudia –

    I’m jealous! Your revolting search term strings are so much awesomer than my revolting search term strings! I mean, yes, disgusting, repellent, icky, prone to giving one the galloping shivers… but much more creative than the inappropriate ones that send people to my blog.

    On the other hand, I am so, so moved and proud that you would choose a drawing of mine to represent the spirit of your blog. It just goes right on being an honor and a pleasure knowing you and working with you. I think that you give much more than you receive; I hope you receive more, and I am thankful for all your gifts…

    Ever yours,

    Daniel

    • artmodel says:

      Daniel! Giving props to the perv creativity level! I love it! I suppose if one is going to be revolting they might as well be revolting in an “awesome’ way! 😆

      Your drawing was absolutely perfect for this post and what I was trying to show. It demonstrates the huge disparity between the icky search terms and their intentions and what really goes on here at Museworthy. Thank you for letting me use it.

      As for me not receiving as much as I give, well you have a point. I know what you’re talking about and I, too, hope it changes. Very sweet of you to say. You’re a great friend 🙂

      Great comments, as always, Daniel. See you soon!

      Claudia

      • Ken says:

        For Daniel and Claudia,

        I mostly model for the first figure drawing classes that college students take. While many are quite good, clearly, none approach yours, Daniel! The detail, light and shadow, proportions, foreshortening…so well done. When a student draws me that well, it is so rewarding to me to be a part of that process!

  5. Ilene Skeen says:

    Thanks, Claudia, for bringing this issue up. It is ART, not porn, but I think we need a better definition of porn or else art of the nude will continue to be assumed to be porn unless proven otherwise. Of course, the drawing you included surely does prove it is not porn — anyone with eyes could see that. For people who need it in words, I offer my own distinction between pornography and art:

    Pornography is art which represents the human figure as an object of degradation, exploitation or as an object having no spirit at all. Fine art, as on my website, Barebrush.com, on the other hand, represents the human figure as a subject of exploration and celebration of the human body and spirit.

    • artmodel says:

      Ilene,

      I completely agree with your description of art vs porn. Some people feel the lines are often blurred but I’ve found it fairly easy to distinguish most of the time. The degradation and exploitation are key distinctions, but I also like that you said porn depicts the human subject as “having no spirit at all”. Very well said. And that’s the real tragedy of pornographic material, in my opinion.

      Thanks for posting your comments, which are always so insightful and intelligent.

      See you soon I hope!

      Claudia

  6. Fred says:

    I think I’m going to start a band called “Picasso Foreskin”, It’s perfect. “Dead Naked Bimbo” is not bad either. In fact, that probably IS a band someone was searching for.

    I think search engine terms are a fascinating reflection of the collective human mind. The perceived anonymity of web searching means people will type in whatever’s in their thoughts. It’s a real mix of high mindedness and the baser urges. But if I’m honest about even my own thoughts, I have to admit it’s not all spirituality and altruism. I think we should be grateful that there are a lot of the brighter thoughts, even among the rougher ones, in our own minds or in our search engine terms lists!

    And that’s a great foreshortened drawing by Daniel – and a good pose by you!

    You know, it’s possible someone was trying to search “Picasso foreshortening” or something like that, and Google autocorrected it!

    • artmodel says:

      Fred,

      I have no doubt that you would get a recording contract with a band called “Picasso Foreskin”!! That’s hilarious. And if it was Google that autofilled the word “foreskin” in the search field then that makes Google the real sicko!

      Since you were honest enough to admit that your own thoughts sometimes stray into the lowbrow, I should at least be fair and honest enough to confess here – in front of everybody – that I have done a Google Image search for “Christian Bale shirtless”. Ok, is everyone happy?? I did it. I admit it. I, too, am guilty of those “baser urges”. And I guess I’m a huge hypocrite.Tee hee.

      Thanks for your great and funny comments, Fred!

      Claudia

      • I will one-up you on that, Claudia! When “Batman Begins” came out, I went to see it. Perhaps you will remember the one scene where Christian Bale is waking up really late after his first night out as Batman. Alfred has come to harrass him out of bed, and Christian Bale throws off his blanket, and he’s shirtless, and he’s got a chest like a FREAKING AIRCRAFT CARRIER. Like you could land a couple of HARRIER JETS on the enormous expanse of his INCREDIBLE CHEST and have room for a picnic left over. So what happened was, the very next day I joined a gym and got a personal trainer, a really excellent survivor of the Afghan civil war whose exercise skills seemed to have mostly derived from knife-fights in Pakistan. And that started the year of the best shape I was ever in. All because I wanted to have an awesome chest like Christian Bale.

        Sadly, I’m not in such wicked shape now.

  7. Andrew says:

    So I click on the title Fat Ass Model and all I find is this elegant drawing of you by Daniel. Geesh… what a bait and switch. 😉

    • artmodel says:

      Andrew,

      Hahahaha!! “Bait and switch” for sure! Very funny. But at least the surprise was Daniel’s drawing, which is, like you said, “elegant”.

      Thanks Andrew!

      Claudia

  8. Dave Rudin says:

    Hi, Claudia.

    So, you’ve finally discovered that there are a lot of weirdos out there in the internet world, have you? And you’re wondering why such search parameters would lead someone to your blog?

    A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I have not been able to get any search statistics for my Blogger blog since they began to institute that ridiculous content warning page. (That’s because everyone links to the blog from the warning page and the original search is technically from the page before that. It’s the main reason that I have finally completed my switch to WordPress.)

    However, before that, I did check the search parameters, and while most were fairly normal, one person who did link to my blog was looking for “photos of women wiping their ass.” (I bet that’s a new one for ya – or perhaps not!!! LOL)

    My reaction was pretty much the same as yours. I wondered how such a search could lead to me, as I certainly had no such photos of “women wiping their ass(es)” on my blog. Still, I did find out how it happened. If you’re curious, you can read my post about it:

    http://figuresofgrace.wordpress.com/2007/06/07/sometimes-i-just-wonder%e2%80%a6%e2%80%a6%e2%80%a6/ .

    You might find it interesting.

    Your “fat-ass” title reminds me of something else. Back in 2002, which was the year that I had bought my current car (a ’99 Corolla), I met someone I knew who I hadn’t seen for a while. I told him of my having bought a Japanese car, and his response was this: “I’ve got a fat ass American car for my fat ass American ass.” Perhaps somebody is waiting for him to become an art model.

    By the way, Daniel, that is a wonderful rendering of Claudia that you made. Do you ever sell your work?

    • artmodel says:

      Dave,

      First of all, congratulations on making the switch to WordPress! Welcome! You’ll like it here. The blog looks great.

      Yes, that was a totally gross search phrase and I’m relieved I haven’t found that one in Museworthy’s search terms – not yet anyway! Thanks for the link to your post about this subject. We all have to keep in mind that search engines can’t recognize context. Your breakdown of how that happened explains it well. It would also explain many of the ones I got too. I have used the words “ass”, “naked”, “sex”, etc many times in this blog’s three year history. I’ve probably even used “bimbo” at some point too. But I am still dumfounded by the “picasso foreskin”. “Picasso” has appeared many, many times of course, but I can’t ever recall using the word “foreskin” on here ever.

      Thanks so much Dave for sharing your blogging experiences. And that was a funny story about your friend and “fat ass” American car!

      Claudia

    • Why yes I do! As much as possible…

  9. Ron says:

    If it makes you feel any better I first found your blog by clicking on a link to your post a few years ago on ethics and integrity in model bookings.

    Wait. Maybe was it a search for beautiful art models named Claudia who also write very well.

    Whichever.

    • artmodel says:

      Ron,

      Yes, it makes me feel much bettter! I remember that old post about ethics and model bookings. I’m happy you found me that way.

      Thanks for your kind words 🙂

      Claudia

  10. Will I be overstaying my welcome if I leap in one more time to just thank you all so much for your kind words about my drawing? It’s not tough to make a good drawing when you’ve got Claudia right there! She’s so… I don’t know… museworthy.

  11. Hey lighten up on us Claudia! We dirty old men ain’t born this way, we gotta work at it day after day after day!!

    Now I’m off to search and see where “lithe luscious lovely ladies lacking lingerie” leads me. 🙂

    Oh yea, Daniel’s drawing is, of course, quite excellent, -but how could it be anything else but excellent, considering what/who he had to work with!

    • artmodel says:

      Jim,

      Aha! So YOU were one of them! You’re busted!

      I’m just kidding of course 😆 Actually I was hoping you would comment on this post at some point. And I rather like “lithe luscious lovely ladies lacking lingerie”. See, I would not have included that one in the sleaze list. It’s nice! Besides, I’m a sucker for alliteration.

      Thanks for your nice compliments about Daniel’s drawing. He and I make an excellent artist/model team.

      Claudia

  12. “Sounds like an old boyfriend looking to reunite, don’t you think? ” ….rich. LOL

    yeah my favorite is the “Picasso foreskin”. It’s so bizarre- it’s Dada

    • artmodel says:

      pigmentpondering,

      “picasso foreskin” is really priceless. Yes, Dada! Part of me wishes I knew the reason behind that search, but the other part of me does NOT want to know at all!

      Thanks for commenting.

      Claudia

  13. Fred says:

    Congratulations!

    I can report that “Museworthy” is now the number one hit on Google for the search term “Picasso foreskin”.

  14. Gavin says:

    Yep, Fred’s right. I checked too! She’s still way down the list for ‘Slut Claudia’ though.

  15. Gavin says:

    Maybe you should run a competition to find the weirdest and/or most deviant search that would turn up your blog? Of course, I could cheat and mention Matisse’s nipples in my post (I was going to say ‘Turner’s arse’, but that turns out to be a village in Norfolk).

    • artmodel says:

      Gavin,

      As funny as that competition sounds, I actually shudder to think of the possibilities! Is that true about Turner’s arse? That’s hilarious! 😆

      Claudia

      • Gavin says:

        Sadly, probably not. Although there is a town in North East England called Barrasford, from when the ladies used to have to lift their skirts to ford the river. Hence ‘Bare ass ford’.

        I’d like to point out that there’s nothing rude about my home town of Cockermouth. It’s just on the mouth of the river Cocker;)

        • Dave Rudin says:

          So what’s the origin of the name of the London Underground stop Cockfosters?

          • Gavin says:

            I had to look that up. Apparently it’s from ‘Chief Forester’s place’ from when cock meant chief or boss. I think we should start using this term again for our new Cock Minister, David Cameron;)

            Penistone in Sheffield I’m still not sure about…

            • artmodel says:

              I really like how the Brits are so comfortable using the word “cock”, in place names and general conversation 🙂

              I also like “arse”. I’m going to start using that one.

              http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A753527

              • Dave Rudin says:

                Well, I think the Brits tend to say “cocked up” rather than “f___ed up,” do they not?

                Getting back to Cockermouth, I saw that Joe Cocker had a cameo appearance in the film “Across The Universe” (I recommend it, Claudia) singing the Beatles’ song “Come Together.”

                Of course, he’s not as young as he used to be, so when I told someone that I saw him in the film and she asked me how he looks now, I simply said “He looks like an alte Cocker.”

  16. PJ says:

    Hilarious post and a gorgeous drawing.

  17. Dan Hawkins says:

    Claudia, I’m glad you posted a link to this post. One of my early blog posts talks about being both a Christian and a nude model when most of the people I go to church with couldn’t even dream of being nude in front of other people (http://artmodellog.blogspot.com/2012/02/christian-model.html). I quoted a few Bible verses and talked about my belief that Jesus was crucified nude, in accordance with what is believed to be Roman tradition. I’ve noticed that that post draws almost as many hits as the other thirty-something blog posts combined. The search terms used are: nude crucifixion, public nude crucifixion, crucified nude, crucified young man, etc. I’m still trying to figure out if the majority of people searching for such things are doing so out of a religious motivation or out of a somewhat disturbing curiosity about torture and execution.

    • artmodel says:

      Dan,

      That is an outstanding post. Thank you for sharing. As for the search terms, we can never know what’s going on in the minds of these anonymous people. Well, actually, in the instance of “boobs’ and “ass” I think we can assume correctly! But yours may indicate a more legitimate curiosity.

      A blessed, glorious Christmas to you and your family!

      Claudia

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