Refuge

Life disappoints. Art modeling is there. A man breaks my heart. Art modeling is there. Expectations fall short. Art modeling is still there. Life is complicated. Art modeling is not.

I can’t change another person’s mind. I can’t alter the past or be someone other than my true self. I can’t deceive or manipulate or make demands. I am resigned to the reality that I am susceptible. I can’t don protective armor and shield my hopeful heart from pain. I don’t possess the mechanism. All I can do, when the tribulation arrives, is seek sanctuary. Sweet, sweet sanctuary.

Woes, letdowns, and defeats will come. But I can still do this:

Claudia Plus Red by Jean Marcellino:

11 thoughts on “Refuge

  1. Mark says:

    You look sad in this drawing. I wonder if you were?

    “Life is complicated. Art modeling is not.” Maybe, there lies your answer.

    • artmodel says:

      Mark,

      I actually wasn’t sad on the day of this drawing. Tired maybe!

      Yes, I think there is an “answer” of sorts in that phrase. Thanks for pointing it out.

      Appreciate your comments 🙂

      Claudia

  2. Bill says:

    Sounds like you’ve had a tough couple of weeks. It also sounds like you have the right idea — a little sanctuary for a while, then back to the complications.
    Take care.
    P.S. Suggestion: the sanctuary should include chocolate. Especially the rich, dark variety.

    • artmodel says:

      Bill,

      Yeah, the past few days haven’t been the greatest on the personal front. Professionally, though, things have been excellent – hence my “sanctuary”.

      And I love dark chocolate! Maybe I should buy a whole case? 😆

      Thanks for your comments.

      Claudia

  3. Claudia! You’re just right the way you are! I hope you feel better soon…

  4. Jennifer says:

    Thinking of you – hope things will improve soon and the sanctuary of work continue to help …

  5. I’ve always felt we need the downs as well as the ups in our lives, if for nothing else, to give us a yardstick to measure them by. None the less, I feel a bit sad when my friends (& of course I consider you such) are down. Your modeling is a good, not escape, but a re-centering, establishing perspective, I think. Good on yer!

    I just went back, many pages, through your blog, Claudia, enjoying re-visiting them.

    I hope you’re on the upslope soon but I did like your May 23, 2009 post of dealing with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

    • artmodel says:

      Jim,

      I’m totally with you about us needing both the ups and downs. It’s how life goes, normally, naturally, inevitably. In other words, shit happens 😆 Not the most elegant phrase but it fits!

      I’m glad you elaborated on my message about art modeling and the role it plays for me during not-so-great days. “Re-centering” describes it nicely.

      I also like that you enjoyed your visits to old Museworthy posts. My archives are really piling up! May of 2009 was a difficult month, I remember it well. I was fortunate to blog through the travails and produce some decent posts.

      Thanks so much for your comments Jim!

      Claudia

  6. Andrew says:

    To borrow a phrase from John Mellencamp,
    “Life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.”

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