So I got my income tax refund in the mail today. For us “freelancers” this is a somewhat anti-climatic event. Bound by the infamous 1099 MISC form, we enjoy no deductions throughout the year, keeping every penny we earned and spending it like a drunken sailor. After being off the IRS radar for 12 months, tax time finally comes around and we’re expected to write a check. Horrors!! You mean I have to PAY TAX on that income?? This is an outrage!! 😆
My tax process always amuses me. I walk into my accountant’s office (“my accountant” being a guy named Chris who I see once a year in the first week of April for a total of 15 minutes) and hand him a bunch of art school income statements held together with a paper clip. I tell him, “Knock yourself out, baby!”. Then I pick it up the next day. I write a check, then receive a check a mere three weeks later, in a brief money exchange with the government.
As a woman who makes her living in the nude, it occurred to me that I’m well-suited to carrying out an effective tax protest, and I don’t mean Grover Norquist style. I was thinking more in the tradition of Lady Godiva, the 11th century English noblewoman who had no shame, no fear, and stuck to her principles. She was a badass medieval babe.
The residents of Coventry were drowning in oppressive taxes, and the greedy, powerful man behind those taxes was none other than Lady Godiva’s husband, Leofric, the Lord of Coventry. More like the “slumlord” of Coventry. A woman of the people, Lady Godiva implored her husband to relieve the tax burden of the citizens of Coventry. According to legend, Leofric agreed to do so only if Lady Godiva would ride naked horseback through the streets of town, in midday. If his strategy was to call her bluff, then Leofric had it all wrong. Not one to back down from a dare, Lady Godiva said “You’re on, buddy!”, and made her famous ride.
Leofric kept his word, and then some. All taxes were abolished in Coventry from then on. Lady Godiva not only triumphed over her husband, but proved something else in the process: nudity works! 🙂
This is John Collier’s Lady Godiva: