What has happened to Claudia the blogger?? She’s struggling mightily with her tried and true posting style, format, and verbal expression. This blog is generally pretty well thought out and maintained. One of the reasons you all visit so regularly, right? I take that responsibility seriously. But the reason I’m a little off my game is not cause for worry I assure you. It’s just that these past few days I’m so . . . preoccupied. I’m happy, so no need for concern. I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m more than fine 🙂
I’m consumed with intensely warm and tender feelings, for the people in my life, my career as an art model, my dear friends and loving family. I feel like someone’s lit a flame under me, and my insides are stirring, swirling, fluttering. I feel awakened. How a person like me – who is hardly apathetic, indifferent or unfeeling to begin with – could possibly feel even more responsive and sensitive is incredible in itself. But it’s happened. That’s all I can say. The only thing that disappoints me is that my blissful trance is affecting my blogging. Sorry everyone. I’m in daydreamland.
I like this feeling. It’s intoxicating. No I’m not on drugs. I’m just very alive, cheerful, emotional, and kind of exhilarated. And if I analyze it to death or agonize over how long it will last, I’ll ruin it. So I’m just going to sit back and enjoy, and chalk it up as a reward for beating the beast once again. Props to me . . . and even bigger props to the people in my life who have lifted me up with their kindness, attentiveness, and support. They know who they are 🙂
William Bouguereau’s Evening Mood: