You know when you’re out at a social event, drinking moderately, behaving normally, not slurring your words or acting like an annoying jerk, and then you get HOME and realize you’re freaking blasted? You turn the key in the door, enter the house, take off your jacket and then all of a sudden you just stumble into the next room and bump your head on something? Well, that’s the state I’m in right now. I’m really in no condition to put up a blog post, but I wanted to tell you all something.
After today, I’d say the “crush” is finito. Done. He ignored me all night tonight, which sent the signal loud and clear that he has no interest whatsoever. In three hours of socializing, he spoke to everyone except me. When I first saw him I gave him a nice, warm hello. Guess what I got in response. A mumbled “Hey”, and then he brushed on past me. Ugh. Not good. After that, I was invisible. And of course, every other person at the event greeted me and talked to me and was very happy to see me. Just not him. Painful. We just had a lovely conversation last week! What happened between then and now? I’m perplexed. But I can take a hint.
It’s a shame because I was really looking forward to seeing him tonight. I had a great story to tell him, and I don’t mean for flirting reasons. I mean a genuinely good story that he would have liked, laughed at, and appreciated. It’s too long to explain but trust me, it’s a good story.
And to make things even more exasperating, about eight or nine people told me how terrific I looked! Can you believe this??? I was dressed up a bit for this reception and I guess it showed – to everyone except the crush. Unbelievable. I feel like shit.
If I were sober I could assess the situation better, provide more details, etc. There’s a lot more to say. But right now I’m too drunk, disappointed, lonely, frustrated, and yearning for companionship. Any kind of companionship would do at this point. Some intimacy and affection would be really, really nice. But after tonight, the crush is clearly not interested in helping me out in any of those areas. And how very willing I was to reciprocate 😉 Oh well.
It’s late and I’m bored, and I have to work in the morning. With a hangover no doubt. Wanna listen to some music? I’m going to upload an mp3. Why the hell not? Let’s see if I can do this, while my computer screen spins before my eyes in a red wine-induced haze:
Here’s Loving Cup by the Rolling Stones: