I’ve lost some weight recently. Don’t know the exact number of pounds, but it’s enough to have created a looser-fitting waist in my jeans. It wasn’t intentional I swear, although I have a couple of theories as to how this has happened. Warm summer weather decreases appetite, and that’s especially true for me. Just don’t feel particularly hungry. Plus, I’m a vegetarian, so my diet is pretty low in fat and calories, except for my nightly case of beer (just kidding 🙂 ) Also, I’ve been exercising much more regularly. Tons of running and bicycling, so I must be burning a lot off.
Ordinarily I wouldn’t care so much, but four different people lately have commented right to my face, “Wow, Claudia, you lost weight!”. Then I suddenly felt self-conscious. I thought, shit do I look THAT skinny?? I hope not. I’m never skinny like emaciated skinny. I have muscle tone, and curves believe it or not. I’m just not, well, Jennifer Lopez. Or Beyonce. And kudos to them because I think they look great.
It’s probably lucky for me that I am an artist’s model in this shallow, thin-obssessed, “skinny bitch” magazine-covered time in history. It sounds like a horrible thing to say – that me or anyone would exploit and benefit from such a superficial value as thinness. But friends, I’m just being practical here. This is about making a living and paying the bills dammit! if this were the 17th century and I tried to get art modeling work, I’d be laughed at and run out of town. I’d be totally unemployable. So I say thank god for the ever-changing beauty ideals. Can you imagine me walking into the studio of Flemish painter Peter Paul Rubens soliciting art modeling work? He’d not only reject me, he’d probably try to shove greasy pork chops down my throat, and berate me for not having a body like one of his full-figured babes. And then they’d start laughing at me too! Bitches.
Rubens’ The Three Graces:
Yeah, the artists in New York love me just the way I am 🙂 They could probably come up with many adjectives to describe both my personality and my figure. But “rubenesque” is definitely NOT one of them! Sorry Peter, but I’m not your girl.