True Colors

If you had to lock yourself in a room painted in only one color, what color would you choose? I ‘d choose purple because it’s been my favorite ever since I was a kid. What does my attraction to purple/violet hues reveal about me? According to Colour Therapy Healing, it suggests that I’m drawn to, or in search of, “self-knowledge and spiritual awareness”. That’s sounds about right. I like it! But hold on a second. There’s more. Check this out:

Violet is the highest colour in the visible spectrum. It has a very calming effect on us and is, therefore, very helpful for those people experiencing sleep difficulties or stress. However, it can be contra-indicated for those suffering from depressive disorders.

Did you see that at the end? “Depressive disorders”! Holy crap. Looks like I’ve been unwittingly sabotaging my mental health by sleeping under purple bedsheets. And using purple bath towels! Oh my god, the beast dwells in my linen closet!!

Color therapy, also known as “chromotherapy”, has been around for centuries. The underlying theory is that each color has a distinct energy field, and those fields correspond with the energy centers of the human body, known as “chakras”, and the organs within. The resulting benefits of color therapy are balanced energies, healing, reduced stress levels, and mental and spiritual well being.

Remember when you were in school you had to memorize the letters “ROY G BIV” as a way of learning the colors of the rainbow? It was pretty easy; red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. What is color anyway? It’s simply light in different wavelengths. The colors at the “bottom” of the spectrum, beginning with red, have the longest wavelengths, and then become progressively shorter up the line. When I was a child, a relative gave me a prism as a gift once. I was entranced by it, turning it around and around, catching the light and looking at the colors with utter fascination. Good way to keep a 6 year old occupied for hours! Let’s take a little trip down the color spectrum, shall we? And we’ll enjoy some art along the way. All blockquotes are from the Colour Therapy site linked above.

Red is a brazen, provocative, stimulating color with powerful symbolism. Red has been used to signify guilt and sin, like the “Scarlet Letter”, and anger and violence. The devil is often portrayed cloaked in red. “Red” was a code word for Communism during the Cold War. Red is the color of blood, rubies, cardinals, tomatoes, poppies, the planet Mars, and the Cincinnati Reds baseball team.

RED relates to the BASE chakra situated at the base of the spine
The organs to which this chakra relates are the kidneys and bladder. The vertebral column, hips and legs are also areas related to this chakra. The endocrine gland to which this colour relates is the adrenal gland. On the psycho-spiritual level, this chakra relates to self awareness. That is to say our awareness of ourselves as human beings and our place on earth. It is the area of survival and relates to our basic human instincts of fight or flight. Red gives us courage and strength. The colour relates to stability and security.

In our culture, red carries a licentious connotation; lustful, debauched, sexy, especially in women’s clothing. A lady in a red dress, for example, attracts a lot of attention and communicates a “come-hither” message. Egon Schiele, no stranger to sexual imagery, used red on his model in this piece, Wally in a Red Blouse The “naughty” signal comes through loud and clear:

Orange is the color of a terrific citrus fruit that is loved by virtually everyone. It’s also the color of less pleasing things like construction site cones, safety jackets, bicycle reflectors, and prison inmate jumpers. Aww, poor orange. It’s bright, eye-catching quality has carved it an unfortunate niche.

But the power of orange in color therapy is positive in many respects. It represents creativity, sociability, joy and enthusiasm. Good paint color for a childrens’ playroom.

ORANGE relates to the SACRAL chakra situated in the lower abdomen. The organs to which this chakra relates are uterus, large bowel, prostate, ovaries and testes. On the psycho-spiritual level, this chakra relates to self respect. That is to say having the ability to give ourselves the freedom to be ourselves and to respect our own boundaries and requirements and, by the same token, having respect for the boundaries of others. Orange is the colour of creativity and we should give ourselves the space to have creative time just for us.

This is Three Nudes in a Landscape, by Max Pechstein. Sunblock anyone?

On to yellow; sunflowers, taxi cabs, lemons, squash, bananas, pineapple (yum!). A great food color. Yellow has its share of negative associations, like cowardice, “yellow journalism”, and yellow fever, Most tragic for yellow is its rampant use in some of the ugliest signage known to man – yield traffic signs, “baby-on-board” signs, and Post-it notes. Don’t forget Post-it notes.

YELLOW relates to the SOLAR PLEXUS chakra, situated below the ribs. The organs to which this chakra relates are the liver, spleen, stomach and small intestine. The endocrine gland is the pancreas. On the psycho-spiritual level, yellow relates to self worth. How we feel about ourselves and how we feel others perceive us. This is the area of the personality, the ego and the intellect and of self confidence.

An artist friend of mine once told me he that “detests” the color yellow. When I asked him why, he went nuts and said, “I just fucking HATE IT!!”. Gee, chill dude. Needless to say, he was not a fan of promiscuous yellow-user Vincent Van Gogh. So to avoid offending my friend, I’ll skip Van Gogh and replace him with a different artist. Check out the yellow background in this Georges Seurat painting, Seated Woman:

Green gets a bad rap. It’s identified with negative personality traits like envy and naivete. It’s the color of American money, plants, flora, St. Patrick’s Day, chlorophyl, algae, and emeralds. Green is also a popular color in the flags of many African countries.

Green has the distinction of sitting in the exact middle of the color spectrum. Because of this location, green has the most effective balancing quality. Color therapists will often conclude a session with green to achieve final “centering” on the subject.

GREEN relates to the HEART chakra. Associated organs to this chakra are the heart and breasts. The gland is the thymus gland. This chakra relates to love / self love. that is to say the ability to give and take unconditionally. When balanced we are able to give this love and also to love and nurture ourselves, warts and all.

Green has become the one-word title for the global sustainability and eco-awareness movement. To encourage earth-friendly practices we say “Go Green!”. Although I can’t wear it well, as it looks terrible against my skin, I still like green a lot. Clearly, Dante Gabriel Rossetti did too. He went green crazy in this painting, Daydream:

Blue is the most popularly given “favorite color”. Everyone loves blue. It’s comfortable, familiar, versatile, calming. Yay for blue! Blue jays, blueberries, sky, water, sapphires, denim, and, here in the United States, blue is the color of democratic, left-leaning “blue states”. Our NY Giants football team wears blue uniforms, and are affectionately nicknamed “Big Blue”. But it’s not all good for blue. “The blues” describes a very down, sad mood, and even sadder music.

BLUE relates to the Throat Chakra. Associated organs to this chakra are the throat, lungs and the endocrine gland is the thyroid gland. The upper digestive tract can be affected by imbalance in this area. Blue relates to self expression. Speech, communication, the ability to communicate our needs and requirements. Spirit of truth and purpose.

Selecting an artist work to demonstrate blue was a no-brainer. Who better to give us some blue than the “Blue Period” man himself, Pablo Picasso. Here is the famous Old Guitarist, an iconic early Picasso work and one of my personal favorites:

Things get tricky here in the blue/indigo/violet section. What is “indigo” exactly? Well, it’s darker than the average blue, and its very short wavelength makes it hard to discern in the spectrum. Many people look at indigo and call it “purple”, and others consider violet a shade of “purple”, which it is. Purple is really blue mixed with red. Now I’ve gone and confused everyone. Oh who cares? They’re all beautiful colors. And keep in mind that no such color as “purple” exists in the spectrum. It’s either indigo or violet.

I shouldn’t be mocking the inscrutable and enigmatic pigment known as indigo. According to color theory, it deals with some pretty deep stuff. Time to get in touch with our “third eye”.

INDIGO relates to the BROW chakra or third eye which is in the centre of the forehead The related organs to this chakra are the eyes, lower head and sinuses and the endocrine gland is the pituitary gland. Indigo relates to self responsibility, that is to say, being responsible for one’s own life; responsibility to oneself to follow the soul’s path and needs and trusting one’s own intuition. The ability to see things from a ‘higher’ viewpoint rather than purely for satisfaction of the ego or one’s material comfort. Intuitive messages are unique to you and are for your own personal growth and differ from the gut feelings.

From the French Symbolist painter Odilon Redon, this is The Golden Cell. It’s the closest I could find for indigo. A stunning color:

We have come full circle, right back to where we started with my beloved violet. Yes, I do have pots of African Violets on my windowsill and use purple file folders. An excellent color for meditation, violet is used in Chinese art to symbolize harmony.

VIOLET/PURPLE relates to the CROWN chakra which is at the top of the head. The related organ to this chakra is the brain and the endocrine gland is the pineal gland. Violet relates to self knowledge/ spiritual awareness. It is the union with your higher self, with spirituality, and your higher consciousness.

This Gauguin painting was appealing to me because the violet is incredibly vivid when contrasted with the yellow. A visual feast for the eyes, this is Woman with a Mango:

Color therapists employ various methods. Colored silks/fabrics, light filters, and solarized waters are just a few. In our day and age, where we seek healing and harmony and a relief from stress, alternative, holistic, non-invasive therapies like color therapy are worth exploring. Why not? Color is imbued with energies and vibrations. And don’t forget the most important thing: rainbows appear after the rain, when the sun comes out . . .

A Glass of Serotonin

Wouldn’t that be great if we could just drink it out of a glass, like lemonade? I envision an alternative new world in the treatment of mood disorders: little “neurotransmitter cafes” on every corner (instead of Starbucks!). They’d have rainbows painted on the walls, pictures of cute, cuddly kittens and puppies, vases overflowing with fragrant flowers, and a tonic menu from which you could place a personalized order: “I’ll take two ounces of serotonin please, with a dopamine chaser.” Then we’d pay our tab and walk out the door with our brain chemistries perfectly balanced, feeling happy, stable, and anxiety-free. NOT drugged.

Over the last five years, I have held in my hand two different prescriptions for antidepressants. Both got thrown in the garbage. My reasons for that break down into equal thirds of the following: spite, lofty principle, and vanity. The first is just an immature act of defiance, a rebellious reaction to all the people who have dismissively told me to “get on meds” just to shut me up. The second relates to ethical issues I have with the pharmaceutical industry (No, I’m not a Scientologist). The third has to do with fears I have of certain side effects, specifically weight gain and loss of sex drive (No thank you to both).

Let me be clear that I am no way asserting that my approach is the correct one. The truth is I have doubts all the time, and I feel nothing but respect and empathy for those who take whatever they need to feel better and stop the pain. Everyone’s condition is different, and depression exists in varying degrees of severity. So to my fellow sufferers I say, do what’s right for you.

However, my recent ten month stretch of all-natural, depression-free living shouldn’t be discounted either. I was doing something right. Then an external life trigger came along. I became vulnerable, took my eye off the ball, and the beast saw his opening. He pounced on me like a predator on its prey.

Now I just have to get back in the groove and reconstitute my formula. Supplements, yoga, meditation, blasting music on my stereo, planting flowers in my garden, watching my cats swat playfully at bumblebees, blogging, writing, bike riding, walking, poking around in the attic, taking pictures, and art modeling of course I search for positive stimuli anywhere I can find it. Anything to push the beast down, even if it’s just temporary. Mere distractions? Perhaps. Does my strategy always work? I wish! But I’ll take it over the alternative, which is not getting out of bed, staying under the covers curled up in the fetal position, crying, crying, and more crying. Staring out windows. Crouching in corners. Hopelessness. Despair. Apathy. Looking out at your life and seeing something that resembles a blighted, desolate, bombed-out battlefield. Think Dresden, 1945. Not good times.

But laughter is a splendid stimuli – the best, because it increases serotonin levels in the brain. I love to laugh as most of you probably know, and not even the beast will silence my laughter. I could use a laugh right now, and British comedy works brilliantly for me. Some of the hardest laughing I ever experienced was while watching the HBO series “Extras”. I miss that show! This clip is only 1:15, but that’s still one full minute out of the beast’s clutches. Here’s Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant in the famous “timezone argument” scene: “In the MORNING!!!!”

Beast Who?

It’s Saturday night and I’m going out dammit. There’s a birthday party, and I’m there! My plan is to get the beast good and drunk and then leave him passed out on some corner on the Lower East Side, abandoned, stinking of booze, like the loser he is. Tee hee

So I’m ready to bust out of my house and paint the town. With a rare hair salon blow-out, a pretty blue scarf that Janet brought me back from Italy, and a fragile, erratic emotional state, why not take some Photo Booth pics before I head out the door? Sounds logical, right? Snap, snap, snap.

Cheers, everyone!

Rhapsody in White

Darling readers, I have inflicted my “beast” troubles on you enough I think. (For those of you new to Museworthy, “beast” is my code word for depression). I bragged recently about having beaten him off for ten consecutive months. No small feat for anyone who’s acquainted with their own beast. I was so proud of myself. But friends, I have been keeping a secret from all of you, and hiding deftly behind my blogging. About two weeks ago, the beast returned, snarling, menacing, with fists raised, ready to challenge me to yet another epic battle. This time, sadly, he won It’s especially disheartening because I was feeling so good. I guess a relapse is what I deserve after blowing my own horn. Now I’m down for the count, and it feels pretty awful.

But I’m not going to dwell on my depression because it’s, well, depressing! Instead, I’m going to wallow in white, and use this opportunity to post some pictures I took of the dogwood tree in my backyard, in spectacular full bloom. I hope you enjoy them.

Taken from the upstairs of my house, this view is looking west, across my neighbors’ yards. The dogwood needs a pruning, as you can see. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m weird like that. I just want her to thrive, flourish, and spread her limbs. Grow, baby, grow!

The white theme continues with the one and only Kate! The feral cat diva herself. The princess of Bayside, Queens. After being MIA for weeks, she finally decided to grace me with her almighty presence, stroll on over to the south side of the street, and pay me a visit. Nice to see you my adorable old friend! Right after I snapped these pictures, she hissed at me for no apparent reason. Bitch.

I love this cat’s markings. Her white is as bright as the dogwood blossoms.

How about some art? This beautiful white painting is from Impressionist artist Eva Gonzales. Originally a student and model of Edouard Manet, Eva became a successful artist in her own right. Her career would likely have reached even greater heights had her life not been tragically cut short when she died during childbirth at the age of 34. Year 1876, this is Morning Awakening:

From the American artist Abbott Handerson Thayer, this is Angel, circa 1889. I sure could use one of these watching over me right now. Thayer, interestingly, suffered from severe bipolar disorder:

Since I’m doing white, and I’m a fanatical Beatles fan, I might as well post the cover of the White Album:

My very, very favorite Beatles song of all time is from the White Album. So because I’m trying to cope with this episode – and it’s a tough one this time – I’m treating myself to that very song. Why not? Consider it my own personal Prozac (which I don’t take, by the way). So please join me in listening to John Lennon’s mini-masterpiece, the exquisite and uniquely sensitive “Dear Prudence”. And, as always, thanks for reading. Love you all

Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It’s beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won’t you come out to play

Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won’t you open up your eyes?

Look around round
Look around round round
Look around

Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won’t you let me see you smile?

Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It’s beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won’t you come out to play

Adrift

Is it abnormal for one’s life trajectory to stall? I hope not. Because I’m feeling stymied, and I don’t know why. “Unsourced” feelings and emotions can be very worrisome. I wake up in the morning, slowly open my eyes, start to take a nice long stretch under the covers, and then, out of nowhere, a nasty bolt of anxiety shoots through me. Why? Nothing bad has happened. I’m in good health. I love my work. But the anxiety bolt inserts unwelcome, weighty thoughts into my consciousness. They zigzag around my head, saying “Hey, Claudia, your life is the same as it was a year ago. And it will be the same a year from now if you remain on this course”. Ick. That’s not good, is it?

I asked a dear friend recently how he envisioned himself ten years in the future. Without missing a beat, he confidently answered that he never thinks in those terms. Because it is unrealistic, pointless, and, in some respects, crippling. He’s right. I need a tutorial in that brand of thinking, because what I have instead is “rut-phobia”. I’ve always been this way. So it’s possible that there’s nothing wrong at all with my life’s trajectory, only my perception of it.

But I am smart enough (and old enough!) to know that our own thoughts can be our worst enemies, that torment comes from within, and that discontent is often a detrimental, even paralyzing, emotion. But striving is fine, right? And “change is good”, so they say. I can’t figure it out. I guess, like everyone else, I just want to be happy. If only it weren’t so complicated . . . . or is it?

This is In Werner’s Rowing Boat, 1917, by Swedish painter Anders Zorn:

Mr. Happy – The Love of Marc Chagall

“Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love.”

- Marc Chagall

That sounds heavenly! I wish I could do that. Live a life infused with love and nothing but love. I envy Marc Chagall for his unwavering positive attitude. It was one that would make Norman Vincent Peale proud. A rarity among famous artists, Chagall refused to submit to his inner neurotic (assuming he even had one) or convey the world as a bleak, cynical, miserable place. It’s even more impressive for a guy who grew up poor in a Jewish ghetto under imperial Russia, yet still described his childhood as “happy”. Then came adulthood, and a surveilled life in St. Petersberg that required all Jews to carry permits and obey restrictions. And then, years later, fleeing Paris to escape Nazi persecution. Such harsh adversities would engender considerable and justifiable anger, fear, and bitterness in most people. But not Marc Chagall.

When he painted people, he depicted them happy, carefree, in love with each other and the world around them. Bursting color, whimsical abandon, and childlike innocence distinguish his work. In Chagall’s vision, love is the answer, the reason for being, just as it was in his off-canvas life. When he met Bella Rosenfeld, a jeweler’s daughter, Chagall said it was love at first sight. They married in 1915, and their bond remained strong and unbreakable for 30 years. When Bella died in 1944 from a viral infection, Chagall was devastated. He had lost his artistic muse, companion, mother of his daughter Ida, and his best friend.

We should all be motivated by love, whether romantic love, platonic love, love of life, laughter, hopes and dreams, art and music, love for family and children, love of earth and animals. My writing of this post, for example, is inspired by love for a dear friend, Stephanie. She is a Chagall fan, and my love and affection for her, and the memories we share, inspired this blog entry

This is Chagall’s Above the Town. Now that looks like a great date. Talk about being swept off your feet!

Three Candles:

Again, Chagall does the euphoric “floating in air” thing. Bella was his model for this painting. She flies like a kite, buoyed by jubilation and youthful exuberance. And check out that big crazy grin on the man’s face! This is Promenade:

Today, Chagall’s paintings fetch upwards of $6 million at auction. His work is popular and beloved by many for their vivid, lively spirit and enduring charm. It’s nice to know that happiness never goes out of style

*Note to my readers: I’m heading out of town for the weekend to attend my cousin’s graduation from Clark University. Yay! I’m so proud of him. So me and the family are driving up to Worcester, Massachusetts on Saturday morning, and returning on Sunday night. I’ll be back blogging either Monday or Tuesday, with new posts and comment responses. Will miss you all, and have a great weekend!!

Claudia

Bacchanal

May and August. Perfectly fine months for most people, but for art models, they represent dreaded employment lulls. Gaps between school semesters. Nothing to do but wait for the calls from model coordinators with new bookings. For me, this idleness is compounded with my private client, Janet Cook, having flown off to Italy for two weeks. How dare that woman leave New York, abandon her model, to go painting in Florence and the beautiful Italian countryside!

So it’s been over ten days already that I’ve had a near-empty work calendar. Lots of white boxes with nothing written in them And then, yesterday, like a blessed gift, I had . . . a booking!! Wowee!! At Spring Studio! Good old Spring Studio. Steady and reliable. A place not beholden to the constraints of “semesters” and “schedules”. Like the Energizer bunny, life drawing at places like Spring just keeps going and going and going. All day, every day. Good for artists, great for art models.

I wasn’t too rusty last night. It just felt good to be modeling, and doing short poses especially. The session was monitored by my friend Jordan Mejias, whose watercolors have appeared on Museworthy before to great acclaim. I took more pictures of his work yesterday. Quick poses again, just two minutes each. Barely enough time for an artist to capture the movement, gesture, and vague shape of the model. For those working in wash they just have to lay it down, fast! When I showed Jordan the images in my camera he said “It looks like a Bacchanal”, to which I replied, “Well with me as the model, that makes sense!”. I’ve been known to indulge in a drink or two . . . or three But you’ll be happy to know I was not intoxicated on the model platform. I’m a professional of course. And lucky for me, I don’t need alcohol to cavort, prance, and strut my stuff when I pose.

Here are Jordan’s wash drawings from last night. Let the bacchanal begin!

American Idol

Mother’s Day is upon us. Last year, I posted an art-themed Mother’s Day commemoration which was nice. But this year is all about MY mother, an extraordinary woman through and through. My brother and I were very fortunate to be raised by her.

My Mom and I are very close, and I know her better than anyone. That’s why I’m posting this carefully selected video for Mother’s Day. If this holiday is about doing thoughtful gestures for our moms and making them happy, well, this video does the trick for mine. Not that she won’t appreciate the cards and flowers she’s going to receive. But this will give her A LOT more pleasure, believe me! Let’s just say I’m a good daughter and I know what I’m doing I also have to do something extra special to make up for my recent filthy rant that disgusted her. A little atonement on my part. Trust me, after she watches this, all will be forgiven!

The video needs no introduction, except that it aired on television in 1968 – the year my Mom became a mother for the second time

So Mommy, this is from me to you, via YouTube. Just like the man in this video – the original American Idol – YOU ROCK! I love you so very much. Happy Mother’s Day, and enjoy!

Claudia
xoxo

Profile in Artistry

It’s arrived!!! The Spring 2009 issue of American Artist Drawing magazine! I’ve been eagerly anticipating this day for weeks. Why am I so excited? Because this issue contains a ten page article on one of my best friends in the whole world, Fred Hatt!!! Yay!!

Fred was interviewed by John A. Parks, and what a truly fantastic job John did. His profile of Fred is perfect and contains many thought-provoking and insightful quotes . I must add though, with all due respect to John and his interviewing skills, Fred is an immensely quotable guy! I know this from being his friend for years and having had the pleasure of engaging in many an engrossing conversation with him. Communication and expression come naturally to Fred, both verbally and visually, intellectually and intuitively.

I am Fred’s model for “Orgone Field” which appears on page 71 of the magazine, and I’m thrilled that a drawing of me was chosen for the article. That particular drawing appeared on Museworthy back in December 2007. You can see it here. Among the other images included, “Verso” on page 68 is not to be missed. And Fred’s striking portrait of Anna Marie appears on the cover. Yes, the COVER!

Fred is more inspired by the human form, body, and spirit, than any artist I’ve ever known. He believes, almost like a religion, that movement and gesture comprise the very essence of his work. It is for this reason that Fred’s drawings are imbued with such energy, excitement, and vitality. They jump right off the paper, and it is undeniable to the viewer that his subject was drawn not from a cast, a photograph, or a copy, but from a living, breathing human being. An individual before him.

Fred Hatt is a true “model’s artist”. He treats us as nothing less than equal collaborators, and understands that models- their bodies, faces, and spirits- are the lifeblood, the muses, of figurative art. The art models of New York LOVE Fred. And he loves us right back

Since Fred is such a prolific artist with an abundance of drawings in his collection, I imagine that the editors must have had a hell of a time choosing images for the magazine. So I’ve decided to post a few of Fred’s drawings that don’t appear in the article. Some favorites of mine, these showcase his dexterity, originality, and remarkably observant eye.

This is “Stretch”:

“Interior”

“Rotation”

Dearest Fred, congratulations baby on your well-deserved recognition. I am so proud of you and privileged to be your friend and colleague. It’s an exciting and inspiring time. Enjoy it! And kudos to Bob Bahr, John Parks, and everyone at Drawing for consistently putting out such an intelligent, superb magazine. Although I read and enjoy it regularly, the Spring 2009 issue is my favorite so far

Visit Fred’s blog at Drawing Life for great discussion and commentary, his art website for a more complete portfolio, and his photography website for a stunning visual cavalcade. The magazine is on newsstands now and will be until August 2009.

Ready . . . Set . . . Rant

I had to shut down comments on an old Museworthy post about male art models and a “problem” unique to them. All it was intended to be was an amusing little trifle of a post with a cute video for a chuckle. It took me a whopping five minutes to compose and that’s including the embed. But it has become a blog nemesis of my own creation, one that simply will not die! I swear to god I REGRET EVER HAVING PUBLISHED THAT DAMN POST!!!!!

To the men out there who are nude art models – or are just CLAIMING to be nude art models – who are Googling the terms “male model erections”, ” art class ejaculations”, “erect penis life drawing”, all of which appear daily in my search engine stats, STOP WRITING ME EMAILS ABOUT YOUR ERECTIONS!!! STOP DESCRIBING YOUR ERECTIONS TO ME IN GRAPHIC EXCRUCIATING DETAIL!!! STOP TRYING TO GET YOUR LENGTHY EXPLICIT ART CLASS ERECTION “STORIES” COMMENTED ON THAT POST!!! Like the Peter Finch character in the film “Network”, I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!!!!! So, AS OF RIGHT NOW, COMMENTS ARE CLOSED!!!!!!! Praise the lord!!!!

This . . is NOT . . A PORN SITE!! Is that understood????? My 73 year old mother reads this blog!! I love my mother. I don’t want her reading that shit!! NOBODY wants to read that shit!! The subject, stupid as it is, can easily be discussed in a tasteful, discreet, humorous, self-deprecating manner. But NOOOOOOOO!!! You perverts are getting off on the whole inane topic. So again, I DEMAND that you STOP WITH THE ERECTION STORIES!!!!!!!!! I’m not interested!! My inbox is being bombarded with that crap! My patience has run out! And now, after NINE MONTHS of email/comment moderation hell, I have finally . . . snapped! :shaves head . . . spray paints walls . . . puts on straightjacket . . . checks self into Bellevue Hospital . . . hums “Guantanamera” while sitting in pysch ward:

So to those of you who tried to enter a comment on that post and want to know why it never appeared, here’s why: I SPAMMED your sleazy asses! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! You’ve been devoured by Akismet where you belong.

Do you guys even LOOK at the rest of the blog??? DO YOU??? What makes you think this is a place where you can casually use the terms “cum” and “throbbing” and “man meat”, etc?? Huh?? What the hell is this, Penthouse Forum???? How disrespectful and conceited and presumptuous of you assholes to just ASSUME that your aroused state is even REMOTELY INTERESTING to total strangers – like me and my readers, for example! GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!! If you were real FINE ARTS MODELS with any class or self-respect, you wouldn’t talk like that. It’s disgusting and debases the whole profession you shitheads! Grow up, would you?

I write about so many things on this blog that are art-related and art modeling-related. I put a lot of love and effort into them. And yet THE ONLY “MEANINGFUL” THING YOU MORONS FIND TO COMMENT ABOUT IS YOUR ERECTIONS???? And for FIVE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS!!! Are you kidding me????? You’re art models, and getting an erection on the model stand IS YOUR PROUDEST MOMENT????? You have NOTHING else to discuss here or contribute?? How pathetic! It’s my belief that you dipshits aren’t serious, dedicated art models at all. You’re just EXHIBITIONIST TRASH!!!

So listen up and listen good, because I’m not gonna say this ever again: I DON’T CARE that you’re not circumcized, I DON’T CARE how your balls hang, I DON”T CARE how hard you get, I DON’T CARE that an attractive female artist was making eyes at you (suuuuure she was!) and I DON’T CARE that everyone “loves” to look at and “admires” your “impressive” genitalia (oh pleeeaaaase!!! In your imagination maybe. Keep dreaming, pal!)

Hey jackasses, I KNOW what an erection looks like, OK? And I know what it signifies. Duh! But gee, thanks ever so much for the info!! I really, really needed the education. :eyeroll:

I’m not exactly a prudish kind of girl. Far from it!! It takes an awful lot to offend me, especially in sex talk. But you guys have now succeeded in offending even me!! ME!! Congratulations! That’s quite an accomplishment! Hope you’re happy.

And by the way, just on a purely personal note, there are men I know whose erections, or potential erections, ARE of great interest to me. Others not so much. Like YOURS!!!! You lecherous, misogynistic, voyeuristic, degenerate, Internet trolls! Get a life!

Rant over . . . takes a deep breath

Naked Truth About Taxes

So I got my income tax refund in the mail today. For us “freelancers” this is a somewhat anti-climatic event. Bound by the infamous 1099 MISC form, we enjoy no deductions throughout the year, keeping every penny we earned and spending it like a drunken sailor. After being off the IRS radar for 12 months, tax time finally comes around and we’re expected to write a check. Horrors!! You mean I have to PAY TAX on that income?? This is an outrage!!

My tax process always amuses me. I walk into my accountant’s office (“my accountant” being a guy named Chris who I see once a year in the first week of April for a total of 15 minutes) and hand him a bunch of art school income statements held together with a paper clip. I tell him, “Knock yourself out, baby!”. Then I pick it up the next day. I write a check, then receive a check a mere three weeks later, in a brief money exchange with the government.

As a woman who makes her living in the nude, it occurred to me that I’m well-suited to carrying out an effective tax protest, and I don’t mean Grover Norquist style. I was thinking more in the tradition of Lady Godiva, the 11th century English noblewoman who had no shame, no fear, and stuck to her principles. She was a badass medieval babe.

The residents of Coventry were drowning in oppressive taxes, and the greedy, powerful man behind those taxes was none other than Lady Godiva’s husband, Leofric, the Lord of Coventry. More like the “slumlord” of Coventry. A woman of the people, Lady Godiva implored her husband to relieve the tax burden of the citizens of Coventry. According to legend, Leofric agreed to do so only if Lady Godiva would ride naked horseback through the streets of town, in midday. If his strategy was to call her bluff, then Leofric had it all wrong. Not one to back down from a dare, Lady Godiva said “You’re on, buddy!”, and made her famous ride.

Leofric kept his word, and then some. All taxes were abolished in Coventry from then on. Lady Godiva not only triumphed over her husband, but proved something else in the process: nudity works!

This is John Collier’s Lady Godiva:

Goya and The Duchess

Artists and aristocracy have been collaborators for a long time. Throughout history, such relationships have been brilliantly synergistic. The artists benefit from having wealthy patrons and famous painting subjects while the aristocrats enjoy the attention, self-aggrandizement, and personalized custom artwork. Are both players using each other in these scenarios? Absolutely. Are they both pleased with the arrangement? You bet.

The Spanish painter Francisco de Goya benefitted from wealthy patronage probably more than any other artist. The darling of Spanish monarchs, Goya was appointed First Court Painter by King Charles IV. The King and his wife, Queen Maria Luisa, sat for the artist themselves many times, donning flamboyant costumes and royal regalia. Goya received countless portrait commissions from other high-ranking government officials, requests for altarpieces for churches and cathedrals, and was made a member of the Royal Academy of Fine Art. But of all of Goya’s many prominent sitters, one stands out above all the others.

Her full birth name was María del Pilar Teresa Cayetana de Silva Alvarez de Toledo y Silva Bazán. A member of Spanish nobility, Maria held the title of 13th Duchess of Alba. When she married José María Alvarez de Toledo y Gonzaga, the 15th Duke of Medina-Sidonia, she became the wealthiest woman in Spain. Known to be eccentric, beautiful, and strong-willed, the Duchess clearly charmed Goya during one of their earliest encounters, at which she asked the artist to apply her makeup. Goya wrote in a letter, “the Alba woman, who yesterday came to the studio to make me paint her face, and she got her way; I certainly enjoy it more than painting on canvas, and I still have to do a full-length portrait of her”. Well, what do you know? Francisco Goya – makeup artist!

Of course Goya did get around to painting the Duchess in full length portrait. One of many, this is The White Duchess, 1795. Notice that pointing right finger:

When the Duke died in 1796, the Duchess was widowed at the age of 34. She went into mourning, dressed in black, and hid away in her estate near Cádiz, a city in the beautiful Andalusian region of southwestern Spain. It was during this stay in Andalusia that Goya painted most of his works of the Duchess. This arrangement prompted a great deal of gossip and innuendo, leading many to believe that the artist was having an affair with the grieving widow. But it has never been proven. Although it’s possible that the relationship between Goya and the Duchess was strictly platonic, a male artist (a married one) and his charismatic female muse (vulnerable from a recent loss) holed up intimately together, creating paintings on the magnificent Spanish coast, does sound like a recipe for illicit romance, does it not? We’ll never know for sure.

Goya self-portrait, circa 1775:

Goya’s Mourning Portrait of the Duchess of Alba, also known as The Black Duchess. Again with the finger-pointing!

Contrary to popular belief, the Duchess of Alba was NOT the model for Goya’s scandalous Maja series. The woman in those paintings was more likely Pepita Tudó, the mistress of the Spanish Prime Minister Manuel de Godoy. That Godoy was the first recorded owner of the Maja works lends credibility to the theory. It’s also been considered that the “model” for Maja was really a composite of several women that Goya “pieced together”.

The Duchess died at the young age of 40, which fueled suspicion that the cause of such a premature death must have involved foul play, such as poisoning. Who would want to poison the Duchess? The aforementioned Queen Maria Luisa who was known to despise her. In 1945, heirs to the House of Alba arranged for the Duchess’ body to be exhumed and autopsied in hopes of putting the rumors to rest. No evidence of poisoning was found, and the death has been officially attributed to tuberculosis. Interestingly, the Duchess bequeathed in her will a substantial annuity to Goya’s son Javier.