Posing, in sickness and in health
Well, I made it back to work! Luckily the whole week was not a bust due to my bout with the flu. I only cancelled two days. The Wednesday night session at Spring Studios was my first venture back to the modeling platform. I warned Minerva ahead of time that I was still recovering, so if I seemed less than energetic and looked like death warmed over, she’d know why. Although I was under the influence of TamiFlu, and a truly abnormal dosage of Vitamin C, the session went pretty well. Since it was all quick poses, I had concerns about getting dizzy or lightheaded or losing my balance. That would be a wonderful sight, wouldn’t it? Flu-stricken shivering art model falls off the stage in front of the class! Nice.
But I managed ok, and went on to pose the following day at Century Club, and then two sessions at the National Academy. Now I’m pretty sure I’ll be in top shape for the Wolf Kahn pastel workshop on Sunday.
I came upon an old image file in my computer. It made me smile because it is quite apropos, so I thought I’d share it with all of you. It’s a pencil drawing of me by Jon Rettich, and it was done well over a year ago at the Salmagundi Art Club. The real facts are that this drawing appeared in the first ever Barebrush calendar AND hit a milestone by ranking as the “most-viewed” image that month. Cool!
I look at it now, and it makes me think of the state I was in earlier in the week; lying in bed, face in the pillow, messy hair everywhere, weak with flu. Now I was in perfect health when this drawing was done, but if I use my imagination and play with the image by visualizing myself not nude but in ratty sweatpants, layers of shirts, with crumpled up tissues in my hands and a thermometer by my head, yep, that was me a few days ago! But I think you’ll all enjoy it more AS IS . . .
Flu Blues
Hello friends. Normally, I’m pretty good with the descriptive comic book sound effects here on Museworthy. But I am suffering with a nasty flu, and I’m not sure if there is any sound effect that can accurately convey this misery. Any combination of moans, wails, and fever-induced stupor noises will do. “uuuuhhh!!!! oww – grrr – :sob,sob: aaaurrrgh . . . . mmmm- uh -uh-uh, waaaahhh!” Eh, none of those are right. Just think “agony”.
I don’t know what happened to me. I worked all day on Saturday at the National Academy, and while I was feeling a little tired and run down from a busy week, it never occurred to me that I was in the early stages of flu. Went to bed before ten, and woke up on Sunday morning totally stricken – so weak, so disoriented, so feverish, so unbelievably riddled with aches and pains. You know you’re seriously sick when you are soaking wet from sweating, and still feel freezing.
Had to cancel my work day today, which some of you may know breaks my heart. I despise doing that. But my Mommy brought me soup 
Now I’m going to see my doctor this afternoon at 3:15. He will probably prescribe me antibiotics. I want to write more for you all, but my headache is starting to rage again and (this you won’t believe) my body – my allegedly strong, flexible, energetic body which provides me with my livelihood – is right now SO weak that the mere weight of my laptop is feeling too heavy to bear. Not kidding. Imagine having to pose for art modeling? Not a chance!
I will beat this soon, I promise. Flu sucks, can I just say that? Typing this post right now is really the only thing I’ve done in the past two days. That’s the truth. I will get myself and Museworthy back to normal. Right now, I have to get this “heavy” laptop off my legs. How embarassing.
Depression and Redemption
I woke up this morning in a foul and despondent mood. I wish I could’ve attributed it to something as banal as a hangover from the Spring Studios Anniversary Party last night. If only it were that simple. But, alas, it was not. Believe me, I would have much preferred a thumping headache from too much wine than a dark, emotional rollercoaster of anxieties swirling through my mind. For those of you who can relate to what I’m saying, you know that it’s hard to describe accurately. But I have an advantage here on Museworthy, in that I can use art to tell the whole story, as art often does.
So I started the day feeling much like Picasso’s depiction of Dora Maar in “Weeping Woman”:
“Weeping Woman” was actually a series of paintings he did in 1937. And since Dora was romantically involved with Picasso – a notoriously cruel misogynist – it’s no surprise that she could provide enough tears and misery to fill several canvases. Here’s another “Weeping Woman”. This one reflects my mood this morning as well, and I prefer this version for some reason. Any artists agree?
That is some serious pain, and it hurts to look at. Now I know that these pieces were prep work for “Guernica”, but out of that context I just see a woman tormented by troubles that are non-political, and unrelated to the Spanish Civil War.
So this was my tough morning; tears, worries, frustrations. It sucks. I won’t lie. But I went to work this afternoon at the National Academy, booked to pose for Kamilla Talbot’s 4:00 watercolor class. I was deeply concerned about my modeling “performance”; I thought about it on the subway and the bus, neurotic and paranoid that my depressive and, to some extent angry, mood would appear blatantly obvious for the whole class to see, either in my facial expressions or tense, irritated body language. How awful that would be.
Well, it didn’t happen. The warm and gracious monitor, and equally warm and gracious students, put me instantly at ease. I was posing in front of an art class, this is what I love to do, I reminded myself. These people are appreciative of my presence. On this rainy, President’s Day Monday, they had been looking forward to this class all morning. I could see it in their faces as they excitedly entered Studio 5 and set up their tables and filled their cups with water and unrolled their beautiful brushes. This was their art class . . . and it was mine too.
Enamored with my bright red sweater, they asked me to do a few five minute poses clothed. Fine by me. So I did them. Then we went to nudes. I did an elegant sitting pose on a low stool. When the monitor announced to the class that there were only five minutes left, the class groaned. Almost 20 minutes already?! Not enough time! They must have been so absorbed in their paintings. Kamilla and her monitor commiserated for a minute and then kindly asked me if I could hold the pose for another five. They didn’t demand or insist, they ASKED with all consideration for me and my comfort. The choice was all mine. “Absolutely”, I told them. Not a problem. And the appreciation that flowed from the class was indescribable. They were so grateful! Thank yous from every corner of the room. And I was so happy to do it for them. Tears welled up in my eyes . . .
After that we took a long break, and Kamilla gave thorough and informative critiques of the students’ work from the first half. Then she asked me for one long reclining pose until the end of class. Sure! I did my best one, and I say my “best” because I have done it before at Spring Studios to great acclaim, which is why I have permantly “catalogued” it in my repertoire. It has a sharp bend in the torso, with beautiful leg/arm placement. It is difficult for sure. Foreshortened to the max. Heck, I could never draw it! But it’s impressive, like most difficult poses are. Kamilla loved it, so we went with it.
The timer went off at the end of the class, and before Emily the monitor could even switch it off, she began to clap loudly for a round of applause, and spoke the exact words “Thank you, Claudia! You were sensational!”. And the students chimed in, enthusiastically, “Here, here! Great job! Thank you! Please come back! You must come back and pose for us again!”. Clapping. Smiling. Warm nods everywhere I looked. I nodded back, and I was crying . . . as I’m crying now writing this post. Just so you all don’t think I’m a total freak, please remember that I started the day in a fragile emotional state, the reasons for which are too complicated, too psychological, and frankly, too much of a downer for Museworthy. This isn’t that kind of blog, you know; one of those tedious, negative, ranting “bitchfests” full of grievances and complaints and creepy personal confessions. Let’s just say that I have, like ALL people, issues, and leave it at that. The main point here is that my work as an art model, once again, rescued me from sadness and insecurity. The grateful and sincere expressions of appreciation from the artists and instructors does considerable wonders for the self-esteem and sense of self-worth of a sensitive art model like myself. No, I’m not a compliment-hound or attention-whore. I’m just HUMAN. That’s all.
Dora Maar was human too. She is also the first famous muse I ever posted about here on Museworthy. Her picture (photo, not painting) really kicked this blog into gear. Her stunning and enigmatic face set the stage for our theme here; inspiration, and the interdependence of flawed, tumultuous, emotional human reality with the immortalized beauty, transcendence, and surreality of art. I try my best to remember and discuss that art is created by people, and people are, well, human. Isn’t this what makes art so fascinating? It’s the biography more than the technique which is most compelling.
One more image of Dora to close this post. But it’s an image of her without the abusive hand of her lover Picasso exploiting her sorrow. Instead, it is a fabulous glam shot picture taken by the photographer Man Ray. While the earlier images by Picasso reflect my own mood at the start of the day, Man Ray’s photograph reflects my much-improved, more confident mood after that lovely watercolor class at the National Academy. Although I must admit, Dora can work the camera lens a lot better than me! You go girl!
Thank you all for reading, dear friends. See you soon . .
Van Gogh, finally
This blog has been in existence far too long without artwork by the brilliant Dutch artist Van Gogh. I atone for my negligence with this post. My apologies Vincent.
I know it’s probably terribly unoriginal and cliched for me to say that “Starry Night” is one of my all time favorite paintings. Yes, the “Starry Night” that’s been degraded into lampshades and bookmarks and cheap stained glass panels and nightlights (OK, I confess. I have the nightlight. My mother gave it to me and I adore it. So there!). My point is that “Starry Night” ROCKS. A gorgeous, imaginative, stunningly passionate work of art. I can SEE that night sky. Through Van Gogh’s intense, sensitive vision, I can truly see it.
But this is Museworthy, and even though Van Gogh is most well-known for his landscapes, cafe scenes, and self-portraits, we will acknowledge his proficiency at figure drawing, and the important role of muses in his personal and artistic life. He had relationships with prostitutes. One in particular, named Sien, lived with him in a fairly domesticated arrangement, along with her illegitimate child, not fathered by Van Gogh.
In a letter to a friend, Van Gogh wrote:
“In spite of everything, I shall rise again: I will take up my pencil, which I have forsaken in my great discouragement, and I will go on with my drawing.”
That was written in 1880. The following drawings were done in 1886. Looks like Van Gogh was a man of his word. He drew again just as he said – with certainty and dedication – that he would. And did he ever! Check out these incredible images of Van Gogh’s figure drawings:
Fun on Fashion Avenue
I was ridiculously early for work at FIT the other day. Had so much time on my hands between jobs that even a compulsive Barnes and Noble browser like myself couldn’t fill the gap without getting bored from book-perusing overload. It was a nice day weatherwise, so I strolled on up to FIT.
When I got there, I stopped in to the FIT Museum. I figured it’s about time, since I’ve been working at FIT for quite a while now and had never set foot inside the museum. And what fun it was! The current exhibit is called “Exoticism”, and while it may not blend in perfectly with the fine arts theme of this blog, I’d like to recommend it anyway. (Hey, I’m no stickler for rules) “Exoticism” examines fashion and textiles over the decades which derived influences from exotic or “foreign” cultures. A lot of Western styles with Eastern elements, a study in cross-cultural exchange. Dancing before my eyes were beads, silks, organzas, embroideries, brocades, satins and taffetas . . . really cool stuff!
I was most struck by a pair of bright red paisley, knee-high granny boots. American-designed in the 1960s, they were psychedelic and flirty and totally fun! I was almost tempted to smash the glass case which enclosed them and steal them away!
Now I wouldn’t go so far as to call them “museworthy”, but they were definitely G-R-O-O-V-Y, baby.
The Museum’s permanent collection is home to 50,000 garments, 30,000 textiles, and 10,000 fashion photographs. It’s open Tuesday – Saturday.
To remind everyone that FIT students care about more than just fashion, textiles, and merchandising, the current lobby exhibit in the D Building is a show of anatomical figure drawings courtesy of students in the Illustration Department. They looked pretty good to me, as FIT students demonstrate that they can flex their fine art muscles with the best of them. And kudos to my fellow FIT models for some pretty great bodies and poses!
FIT is a hip, dynamic, youthful, bustling college in the heart of Manhattan’s fashion district. They draw, they paint, they sew, they design, they sculpt, they illustrate, they screenprint, they market, they make jewelry, they accessorize! It’s a vibrant institution that propels and buoys the dreams of young visionaries. And I’m pretty glad to have FIT on my art modeling resume.
Oh, My Aching Back!
Hi everyone! Hope you’re all doing well. Where have I been, you might be wondering? Just working hard, as usual. Too hard, perhaps? It’s possible. I treated myself to a massage a couple of days ago, and I use the word “treat” lightly. This was not one of those spa, lit candles, meditative, aromatherapy oils, relaxation massages (those are great), but a real MASSAGE. Felt I needed one since I’ve been experiencing muscle aches in some parts of my body and wanted to get the kinks out. Yoga is great, of course, but sometimes you need hand manipulation to target specifc trouble spots.
So a massage therapist named Doug gave me a massage on Friday afternoon and damn, it hurt! He said my muscles were really tight and tense and desperately required loosening. I told him I’m a full time art model, and he wasn’t surprised. He said he has clients who are art models and we all have the “same issues”: hip flexors, tension in the pelvic area, and the dreaded lower back. I knew it! Those torso twists may look great, but they are killers. He kneaded away at me vigorously . . . ouch! . . . ooh! . . . aah! . . . ack! . . . whoa, wait! . . . what the hell?? . . . mother#&@%$*#&!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAARGH!! OUCH! I am in messed up shape. Knots and balls and weird hard spots everywhere . . . all this from posing???
My poor overworked spine . . . I weep for thee . . .
Then Doug said something that broke my heart. He said that there was a lot of tightness in my hamstring . . . my HAMSTRING!!! Which I stretch every day, religiously. How could that be? I stretch that thing during jobs, on my breaks! It’s been witnessed by many. They can vouch for me, I swear. Doug pointed out that my quad was tight too, and the muscle that runs down the side of the thigh. I tell you guys, his assessment just got worse and worse every minute. It was depressing :sob:
My body is my livelihood, and although my health and fitness regimen looks decent on paper, I suppose when one factors in the reality of my profession – 40 or 50 hours a week of often strenuous art modeling- it actually isn’t good enough. I think I need to better discipline myself, as far as putting aside sufficient time for exercise. By that I mean, doing more than a quick 20 minutes of half-assed yoga when I get home from work, and not wimping out of a good run in the park just because it’s “too cold”. It’s time for me to step up, and bring the quality of my workouts into proportion with my profession. It really never occurred to me until I was lying out on that table with Doug’s knuckles pushing down into my vertebrae. O -U-C-H!!
On a positive note, Doug the sadist (just kidding), did tell me that my body is “strong”. Whew! That’s a relief. I don’t always feel it, but I do hope it shows outwardly to all the artists who depend on me, who are inspired by my movements in short poses and my stillness in long ones.
As a reminder of my “strength”, not to mention an ego boost, here’s an image of me posing strong, standing, supple, posture intact. It’s how I look through the artistic eyes of Fred Hatt- an invaluable contributor to Museworthy and, more importantly, my dear friend. I’m not decrepit and broken down just yet! Keep those canes and braces away from me, man. I have a lot more work to do.
This drawing was done during the Saturday morning sketch session at Figureworks Gallery in Brooklyn:
